"I played baseball for one reason ... not for the statistics, not for the awards or plaques or anything," Gaetti said. "I want to receive this award for an intense love of the game, playing the right way and playing to win." -Gary during his Twins Hall of Fame induction
In the beginning God created the heavens, earth and the Gary Gaetti Cult. Let's start again...The year is 2008 and the Gary Gaetti Cult is now roughly 9 years old. It all started back in 1998-99 when we were attending the University of North Dakota drinking and dreaming on weekends, and weekdays for that matter, watching Gaetti and the Cubs on WGN in the afternoons at 514. We were essentially the -explative- day baseball fans that Lee Elia speaks of in his tirade *download this later on down the page*. The average cult member enjoys: drinking beer, watching quality sports (baseball, hockey, football), shooting guns, burning fossil fuels, and pulling pranks. The page is what it is. I guess time and space met, shared a can of beer, and The Cult was formed.
514 Cottonwood "The Ivory Compound"
We always cheered for Gaetti not just because of his mullet, flapless helmet, wrist hair, huge bat and softball player-like qualities, but because he busted his ass every night, brought intensity and a commitment of fundamental baseball to the field, and was not out there for a fashion show like Jeter and those other Backstreet Boy players. He was/is the workingman's player....a High Life man of sorts.
We used to (and still do) drink a lot of beer and then at the wee hours call a "Gaetti" meeting at Jeannie's restaurant in Grand Forks. A lot of old stuff is left on the page because we don't like change and good old things should stay the same. New things are added occasionally to amuse ourselves.
Jeannie's Restaurant Jeannie's Epitaph
The Gary Gaetti Cult is something that we have always laughed about but the page seems to be a hit with other visitors as we've had many folks mention that they've laughed their asses off after magically stumbling onto the page. There are a lot of boring web pages out there and we've always tried to be different from your average fan pages, even if we've crossed a few lines in the process.....including alienating the local media. The Gary Gaetti Cult is sort of like the Louvre of 80's baseball player pages, sometimes hard to see everything in one sitting....so please feel free to make multiple visits. So sit back, set your favorite 6 pack of fermented grain next to the computer and buckle up for the ride.
We hope you'll have an enjoyable visit to this strange vortex within the World Wide Web. We will keep doing our part if you keep believing in the G-Man. We're dreaming the undreamable dream. I thank you gentle strangers.--The Chairman and Vice Chair Ronnie James Dio
The Gaetti Cult: Either you're with us or against us.
Gaetti Tunes
Hilarious video that Gary sent to The Cult of his son Joe impersonating him before a AAA Colorado Springs game (pause our really good "Gaetti" rock songs to hear the audio from the clip)
Pictures from Gaetti Fests and other assorted debauchery
A Gaetti Cult plug, on the Jim Rome Show, by our dear friends at Cheap Seats


Gary has been chosen, by the Minnesota Twins organization, to be knighted into the Twins Hall of Fame. Full Story
"He had the guts and every night he wanted to go out there and kick the other team's butt. And I liked that," teammate Kent Hrbek said in his induction speech
The G and Hrbek being announced to the crowd
Gary with REX during the '87 team introductions
Gary with his family on induction day
One last throw to Hrbek
Immortalized in Twins history
Gary honored by the Lake Land College (Illinois) Distinguished Alumni Society Full Story
Currently, Gary is the hitting coach with the Tampa Rays AAA team Durham Bulls
Gary, asking the ump if there's any good Italian joints in town
The BP machine
Résumé of the Gods: Gary's Career stats
While having a cold can of Grain Belt with Gary (true story), I asked him if we should change anything on the page....
He replied: "Don't change anything.......you gotta keep that edge"
The mullet: business in the front, party in the back
The most important man in America and Bill Clinton
Either ready for ball or Camaro racing
There's nothing we could say here that's funnier than the picture......
A Gary Gaetti "used sock" card created by Cult member Jeremy Swanson....nice work
"Swingin a hot stick boys"
Who followed Gary in high school in 1975? The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.
Bleedcubbieblue.com homer call
Top 20 Cub Homers (fittingly, Gary's "playoff magic" shot on Sept 28, 1998 is #8)
Patriot Gary Gaetti with troops at West Point. They don't let wimps in there.
Gaetti superfan, DJH, spotted in a Chicago bar after the Cubs/Cards game
Gary telling a minor leaguer how kegs should be thrown into truckbeds.
The Rat Pack (thumbs up)
3-4-5 in '87
There's just something about Gary
Gary's not big on some of these new moves
G-Man fan David Gatti at Strohs Spring Training '06
David, his boys and the G-Man
G-Man w/ Cult member David Hamilton
Christin w/the G-Man. She and Pat are serious Rays Superfans!!! Check out their webpage. www.patchristin.com
Matt Harris w/ his favorite Cub
Gary sporting his "Tango and Cash" beard for Cardinals Magazine
Cult members also wear aviator shades (most of ours say "SPORTS" on the front and sides)
Word has it the new line of Gaetti clothing is finally available at your nearest hip-hop store
Even as a Cardinal, Gaetti was a Cub at heart
Tenacious G dominated RBI baseball too...a homer every time if you knew what you were doing
I love the smell of napalm in the mornin'
Crouching G-Man, not so hidden mullet
Soft-tossing future Cult members one at a time
Getski representing
Great pic from Cult memeber Ian from NY
"Yeah Lori (of Jeannies), it's the G Man, I'll have the #13, over easy,.....and Glenallen wants fries and gravy."
The weather in Grand Forks, ND (The Mothership)
"North Dakota isn't just a state.....it's a state of mind."-Chairman
yes,.....yes!
Trying to buzz the tower on a guy with no ear flaps on his helmet...Gaetti is not scared.
Gary is sending some lumber back to the mound
"What's that, you want some....you want a little?" Gary talking smack to the pitcher who brushed him. (note the adjustable softball-like hat)
Gary laughing after the game
Straight From The Heart (formerly A Moment For Us)
Gary is simply referred to as the "G-man". Gary patrols the hot corner over at third base. Gary never says die....his refusal to keep his #8 jersey clean is an attribute to the man who serves
as an everyday Mr.T to us all. We call him the Italian Stallion....others call him a George Washington of sorts pioneering how wearing helmets with no ear-guards should be used (ask Dave Winfield and Keith Hernandez too).
The keen play of Gary along with his tremendous head of hair are popular with the women of the Midwest. WGN makes a note of showing all of these great sides of Gary. My dear friends and I made a pilgrimage, to Wrigley, on September 1999 to visit Gary. He came in to pinch hit and we gave him a stading ovation....unfortunately nobody else felt our sentiments (a few laughs here and there). Gary acknowledged us with a pop-up to left. Gary defines "leadership" whether he makes a snare at 3 bag or if he gets busted by Steve Stone and Chip Caray in the dugout with a golf sweater on (keeping things loose in the clubhouse I guess).
"What on earth is Gary Gaetti doing with that golf sweater on!!?", cried Chip Caray.
"It looks kinda good on him", noted our man Steve Stone. (1999)
if a guy has a mustache like this, forget about trying to leg out a single on him
Chairman's personal favorite pic
Bustin' ass every play
gotta love this one
no holds barred
I don't need no stinkin' Viagra to go "over the top" Raffi!
Hot Corner shot
Cardinal mullet
Wrecking ball on the basepaths (old school takeout)
'87 World Series cut
Gary clearly looks the most menacing out of these boys
100 percent effort....nothing less
A few California years, then a return to the Midwest!
Gary Gaetti patrolling the hot corner
Wrists of fury
Always safe to go with Gaetti
Always crisp play at the hot corner
Great stash shot
mullet
Don't make fun of Gaetti's mullet braaaa
Textbook takeout
Remember to touch home Gary!
skyball
skyball at the dish
#8 celebrates in 87'
ALCS MVP Preview? I think so
Gary "dialing" long distance.
Gary tagging out Willie Mays Hayes in the movie Major League.
Gary, we got a home game today bro, switch unys

"What up dogg?"
Where we boozing G Man?
Vincent Riendeau's favorite pic
The Twinkies were a close bunch
Friggin bright out
cool stashola
Seated with Twins royalty
The Wall
The Stroke
I'd like a Budweiser, tall, and a couple dogs
Gary used to be in Steely Dan before taking up hardball
1987 Twinkies, led by WS MVP Gary G
Gary (left) looking either hungover or angry with someone's mechanics.
"fugg it"
Gary goes yard.
Gary-Gant after just receiving word that TBS was going to run a Slyvester Stallone marathon.
Gary can't believe that his truck made it home last night.
Excerpt from Gary's guest appearance on Space Ghost Coast to Coast in 2000:
Q&A With Gary Gaetti
From the Avengers Spring Training site in Gotham City, Space Ghost kicks off his 2000 interview season with new Metropolis acquisition Gary Gaetti.
Space Ghost: Good morning Mr. Gaetti.
Gary Gaetti: Yeah, good morning. Thanks for having me.
SG: So, it’s gotta be nice to start another spring training for a veteran like you.
GG: Yeah, each spring is nice. A new start, seeing my old buddies. Stuff like that.
SG: Sure. Whatever. Do you think it will be hard to be here as a coach this year, rather than a player?
GG: Um. What? I’m ... a ... the third baseman this year. Superman told me I should get quite a few at-bats.
SG: So, let’s be straight here. Coaches don’t really do that much, do they? I mean, c’mon. Hit a few fungos, throw a little BP, and go get a smoke. Sounds like a good gig to me.
GG: No. Well, yeah, I’m sure it is a good job, but not for me. Not yet, anyway. I’m hoping to do my part to get this team to the playoffs this year.
SG: We’re out of time. Thanks again to Gary Gaetti, Metropolis Avenger third-base coach.
GG: Um. No. Wait a sec...
Playoff Magic!!!
Everyone is marvelling at one of Gary's signature foul balls.
The birthplace of a superstar (Centralia)
(applause)
Gary G and sidekick Frankie V*. Frank the Tank.
*I was told that a local Grand Forks punk band was so impressed with the old Frank Viola segment of the Gary Page, that they had a picture of Frank Viola, w/mustachio, on one of their show flyers.
A Moment for us
The family picture of the dwellers of 514 Cottonwood (Front:Mike "Yao" Zimney, Brian Geatz/ Back: Brian "Hansel" Hanson, Ben Ehreth, houseguest Jason "Kato" Okstad).
What else would you do with a coupon for free portraits?
Cult member K Diddy can smelllllll what the little rock's cookin
I wanna rock!!! Curling w/Shane Martin (CHiPs shades), Tony Bina, and Chairman.
Bad Idea Sportscards
Mark....grandma wants her glasses back
Matching game
Kip Dynamite and Blue Jay Great Rance (Sir-Rance-A-Lot) Mulliniks
Dwight Schrute of The Office and former Tiger dork Paul Gibson
Official beer: Milwaukee's Best Light (The Beast)
Official things to watch on tv: baseball,
hockey and
action movies
Official restaurant: Jeannie's in Grand Forks, ND
Offical Cult server at Jeannie's: Lorrie
Official song: "Holy Diver" by Dio. Ronnie James wants to know if you're a serious Gaetti fan???
Official bar:
The Bun Lounge: Northside, Old Mill Road, Grand Forks, ND...."The Bun For One"
*official bar may very well have been Judy's in Grand Forks, ND where Mike Commodore brought the Stanley Cup, but Cult member Shane Martin didn't like the fact that they remodled, even after wind damage, so they are out.
Shane "Hero" Martin
FRIENDS AND HONORARY MEMBERS 
William Shatner
Ronnie James Dio
The Brothers Sklar
Jose "The Secret Weapon" Oquendo
Steven Wright
Bill "Spaceman" Lee
Art Bell
Don Cherry
GF legend Bruce Tellmann
Chuck Norris
Bon Scott
Eddie "The King" Feigner
The D
Crispin Glover
Lee Marvin
Al Davis
Ex-Marine Harvey Keitel
The entire cast of The Delta Force
Eddie Money
Conway Twitty
Johnny Cash
ND's Darin Erstad and Pronk Hafner
Uncle Ted
Mr.T
Bruce Campbell
Richard Marx and Steve Perry....faithfully
G-Cult Approved Sound Clips (updated 8/9/07) 
Former Cubs skipper Lee Elia...goin to battle for his boys (thumbs up by me).
Goose Gossage: He gives geese....a bad name
Earl Weaver...Baltimore's resident asshole
Carl Lewis and the National Anthem....Uh oh
1/25 "Rambo"(Gaetti) Opening Night in theaters: "Old heroes never die.......they just reload"
2/1 Southgate Bonspiel (Have you ever done it in the parking lot?)
2/9 Grygla Cup (Grygla, MN)
6/13 Fishing with Richie at Devils Lake
10/3 Pheasant Opener ND/Cult member Deuce Reynolds' wedding (tough call)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Mystery Science Theater 3000 The Movie
The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
Army Of Darkness (A Bruce Campbell Joint)
Over the Top (Stallone, trucking, and arm wrestling...obviously #1)
The Rambo Movies (it's like Gaetti with guns and survival knives)
The Octagon (Gary is basically the Chuck Norris of baseball, and the #8)
The Red Pepper, a "cult" restaurant in Grand Forks
The Show with Dibble and Kennedy (best baseball show on the radio)
Weekend Update With Gary Gaetti
The Gary Gaetti Cult's Own: Little Steve Stone Page
ESPN Columnist Bill Simmons (thanks for linking us)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 Homepage (from Hopkins, MN)
A Gary Gaetti reference on the MST3K episode "Hobgoblins"!
Cheap Seats youtube.com videos
Oquendo Quest (kind of like Gaetti Quest)
Top 100 guy movies by Maxim Magazine(Slapshot #1)
Gaetti-Lube 500 Grand Marshall
Hello to our friends at the Long X Bar in Grassy Butte, ND (pop. 17)
A Gaetti/Flapless Helmet Tribute
The Twins Cards Page (incredible)
©1999, 2008 Whiskey-Faced, Beercan Productions